Stress on the family

 I am someone who always tries to avoid any conflict. That is probably why I am the one in the family who never gets in fights, the one who is always trying to talk others down from fights, and hiding when contention starts to erupt. This has been a good thing in life for sure, but also a problem because I can also be a push over or someone who avoids conflict when I need to address the problem instead of letting the problem get out of hand. Stress is definitely a good thing to have surprisingly. I have to admit, before I took my family relations class I wanted to wait to get married and have children after I had finished school and had a job, so my family wouldn't have the stress of having to deal with having a low budget. Although having to go through those hard times can strengthen a family. Children who never have to work for anything in life and have wealthy parents aren't successful as children who didn't have as much and had to work for what they have, because they value what they have. They weren't given everything. Rich children realize they can live on their parents help for the rest of their lives. 

Can we control our stress in our own lives? Obviously we can't control everything that happens in our lives, but we can control how we feel about those events. We have such easier lives than people 100 years ago, but yet people back than could be happier than we are now. So thinking, "if only my life would be easier " "I will be happy than" will get you anywhere, because it won't, sorry. Continue trying to live the best life you can of course, but look differently on your life in a positive point of view instead of a negative. 

An example of feeling too comfortable would be someone jogging every mourning. He may not feel comfortable jogging, but he likes the challenge it gives him. It makes him happy afterwords to go out and jog and feel the rush of exercise. What is more relaxing is to stay in bed or watch TV. There is no challenge and no stress. Afterwords he is not going to feel that happiness he didn't leave his comfort zone. This is why it's good to leave our comfort zone.

I could relate this to having children. Like I wrote about a week or two ago many people are too comfortable not having children. They like the non stressful life of having money and having time. They want to be the cool aunt who can spoil there their nieces and nephews. Many people may just be saying this joking like my sister who would tell boys she would want to be a crazy single cat lady. Without the hardship children may have in your life, life may be too easy. I am very grateful since I left my family back home, but it does get boring not with all the conflict my siblings bring into my life. It is nice to visit once in a while. But I also have to admit when the conflict never ended it can also be too much and I could get depressed so it all has to be in a good amount. 

In my family I feel like there was always one crisis to the next crisis with little time in between. It was depressing for me to have that stress on me because I felt like my family was falling apart over and over again. How I would cope with that stress was to keep to myself and pretend like everything was ok. This can be problematic, because acting like everything is OK can be a way of avoiding the problems at hand and never fixing them.