Communication Skills

This week I learned a lot about communicating with the family. In my own Family many of the fights are just from lack of communicated and I think to myself, if only every one can discuss all their feelings before jumping to conclusions their wouldn't be this contention. It can be hard to be the middle man between two family members who are not talking, and use you to communicate. It's like playing a game of telephone and usually the information will get mixed up along the way. Communication is a very important tool, because once one family member decides to cut you off, it could have troubling effects on your relationship and you aren't able to talk it out to make things better.

What I find interesting is how we can sense how someone is feeling mostly from their body language, Second tone of their voice, and then lastly their words can sometimes hardly reflect how they are actually feeling. I can tell when someone doesn't want to be around me, even if they say they do, but by how they are being distant, sighing around me, giving me dirty looks, etc. This is why we should not only be aware of what we say to others that may hurt their feelings, but how we physically act around others as well.

Texting can be a problem when communicating with others, because you have no idea the body language or tone the person has while communicating. You have to strictly rely on their words and leave it to the imagination on how the person is feeling saying those words. Whenever I text my younger sister, I will end the sister with ... She finally noticed and asked me to stop, because it really gives mixed messages, and makes the person sound sarcastic or they have more to say that their not saying because they are embarrassed for you. I can't think of the right word to describe it, but we all know that feeling. 

Communication is important when it comes to being the leader of the family. When one parent has to take control while the other takes a back seat, it can be frustrating. I remember hearing in LDS messages of how in our society it takes 50/50 from both parent to raise a family, but it actually takes 100/100 from a family because both the mom and dad should be giving their all, and that really stood out to me. Many young adults just assume they will be perfect once married and will be perfect and communicating. I told my older sister that my older brother, who lived at home at the time, would be constantly yelling while fighting with his wife. I asked her if this was a bad sign and if she ever fought with her husband. (yes I ask my sister personal questions about her relationship.) She said she had had fought with her husband, but they have never yelled at each other, and that ever couple is different which is ok. I remember a scene from the office where Jim and Pam where having problems with their marriage, and Jim says,"are we gonna go home and fight, because I don't want to fight." And Pam says,"I want to fight, because if we don't that means we don't care anymore like my parents stopped fighting when they stopped caring." Which always hits me. So work out your problems, but obviously you shouldn't be constantly fighting, but it's good to fight.